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One out of five children are victims of sexual abuse in South Africa. A shocking and gut-wrenching statistic. How do you empower your kids to keep them safe? Studies estimate that 93% of children who are sexually abused know the perpetrator. The younger the victim, the more likely they are to be abused by a family member. 

Many parents find addressing body safety with young kids uncomfortable and even fear that they might “ruin” their child’s innocence if they were to discuss these topics. In fact, teaching children is crucial to empower them and keep them safe. Teaching kids about body anatomy is a proven protective factor. 

Body anatomy principals should be taught from a very young age, by respecting a kid’s body boundaries (no coerced hugs or kisses), naming the anatomically correct body parts, teaching emotional intelligence (what does safe or unsafe feel like) etc. This is a progressive topic and as kids get older more age appropriate and relevant information can be added (teens should be aware of online safety etc.) Even though this is a loaded topic branching out into many areas of discussions, here is a short rundown on four principles any caregiver of young kids can apply to help them be more body wise and safe.  

  1. Privacy:

Teaching kids the difference between private and public is a good first step in helping them realise body boundaries. Personal space is another important component of privacy, and the bubble metaphor helps little ones remember everyone has an invisible bubble around their bodies called their personal space. If you want to enter someone’s personal space, you must ask them first (we call this consent). The same applies to your bubble, no one is allowed to enter your bubble without first asking (for example: grandma can ask if you want a cuddle). If you feel uncomfortable when someone is in your bubble it is okay to tell them to step out of it or to ask a safe adult to help you.  

  1. Private parts:

Every area that your swimming costume covers is a private part. This means it is a special area that no one is allowed to touch or see. This also means no one is allowed to show us their private parts, ask us to touch their private parts or show us photos/pictures of private parts. Kids should know the anatomically correct names for their private parts (this removes shame and gives kids credibility to recognize abuse).   

If anyone does cross a private part boundary, the child can use a clear, firm and LOUD ‘NO’ followed up by immediately telling a safe adult. 

  1. Safety Network:

Have kids pick 3 – 5 trusted adults that they can rely on. Kids should be able to choose these individuals themselves and the list should be revised and rehearsed regularly. Kids should understand that these are adults who would believe and help them should they ever feel unsure or unsafe.   

  1. Secrets:

Abuse thrives in secrecy. Teaching children from a young age that there must be NO SECRETS sets a firm boundary. Kids should know and understand that any type of secret regarding our own or someone else’s body is a bad secret and should not be kept. Surprises are fun and have an end goal where everyone is included, Secrets are unsafe.  

 Teaching kids these four principles empowers them with knowledge to make them less likely to be groomed and more likely to disclose abuse (their own and friends’). It is the responsibility of all adults (parents, grandparents, teachers, medical staff, coaches etc.) to ensure kids safety and basic body safety is a good protective factor to start with. 

For credible free resources on this topic check out the following link:

FREE RESOURCES — Educate2Empower Publishing (e2epublishing.info) 

For my free Afrikaans “my lyfie, my reëls” poster: 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MJ-77dBRVU6tCWhGDJ2d54C9Uu61Qgli/view?usp=drivesdk

If you suspect neglect or abuse of a child, please contact the relevant authorities for immediate intervention. 

The Law & Sexual Offences against Children (simplified) – Childline South Africa (childlinesa.org.za) 

Identifying and Reporting Child Abuse in South Africa | LAW FOR ALL 

Resources: 

https://www.allianceforchildren.org/blog/2021/07/teaching-body-autonomy-how-you-can-help-protect-your-child-abuse 

https://health-e.org.za/2021/12/09/rape-childhood-sexual-abuse-continues-to-plague-sa/ 

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